A great way to bond with your baby is through massage. Studies have shown that massaging your baby regularly can reduce crying and relieve colic, encourage better sleeping patterns, help boost her immune system, and deepen your bond. Massaging can also help you if you are suffering from postpartum depression by building and strengthening an emotional connection with your baby you may be lacking.
If your baby is healthy, it is usually considered safe to massage her at any age, even as a newborn. However, never massage your baby if she is running a fever, has recently had surgery, or has any open sores or skin abrasions. Massage your baby when she is calm and relaxed — such as after her bath or right before bed — and wait until at least an hour after she has eaten.
A baby massage can be as long or brief as you and your baby wish; but it's a good idea to start with shorter massages of five minutes or less, until she gets used to it. If she becomes cranky or agitated, stop and try again some other time. Never force a massage on a baby. It may take a couple of tries for her to get used to it and be able to relax and enjoy it, and if she wants to change positions, let her. Some infants are extremely sensitive and can't deal with a lot of touching at first, so watch her body language and maintain eye contact.
Go with the flow and relax, and follow the same pattern during each massage so your baby learns what to expect. If you want, play some soft music while massaging her — she will learn to associate the music with relaxation, which may help at bedtime as well.
It is important to keep in mind that a baby massage is not the time for a deep-tissue work; always use gentle pressure, but not too light — feathery-light touches may tickle and agitate your baby. To determine a comfortable amount of pressure to use on your baby, close your eyes and press on your eyelids. The pressure you should use is the same amount that you can press on your eyelids without feeling any discomfort. When you are massaging small areas of your baby's body, use your fingertips; when massaging larger areas, such as her back, use the palm of your hand.
Begin by placing your baby on a soft surface, such as a folded blanket or cushion. Keep her warm and cover any areas that you will not be massaging. If you plan to give her a massage just after her bath, stay in the warm and humid bathroom where she'll stay warm longer. Before you start, make eye contact and sing or speak softly and lovingly to her, and begin moving slowly and gently. Use a small amount of oil so your hands don't pull on her sensitive skin. Since her hands and feet will probably end up in her mouth, it's a good idea to use edible oils such as grape seed or olive. However, nut-based oils such as almond or peanut can cause serious food allergies if your baby ingests them, so avoid using them during massages.
Start the massage at your baby's head and work down to her feet. Begin by softly touching her forehead and temples, then her eyebrows and eyelids, and work your way down her face to her nose, ears, cheeks, and around her mouth. With your thumbs, stroke across her upper lip and then across her lower lip and onto her cheeks, as if you were drawing a smile on her face. This helps relax the muscles she uses for sucking.
After you have massaged her face and head, move on to her shoulders and arms. Make a ring around her arm with your thumb and forefinger. Beginning at her armpit, slowly move your hand down her arm. Remember that her elbow is extra-sensitive, so be very gentle as you pass over it. Make gentle turning motions around her wrists. If she is clenching her hand into a fist, gently stroke it to get her to open it. Run your thumb across her palm towards her fingers and lightly roll each one between your own fingers.
Next, gently massage her abdomen which may help stimulate her digestive system. Make hand-over-hand strokes on her stomach, from the bottom of her rib cage to her lower abdomen, using the pads of your fingers. The motion should mimic a small doggie paddle. Next, gently push her knees up toward her stomach and hold them there for ten to fifteen seconds. Straighten them and then bounce them gently. Repeat this move several times.
With both hands together at the center of your baby's chest, push out to the sides, following the rib cage, as if smoothing out the pages of a book. Without lifting your hands from her body, bring them around in a heart-shaped motion to the center and repeat the whole move.
Finish the massage with the legs and feet. Encircle one of her legs with both hands and gently make deep strokes down both sides of her legs toward her ankle. Once you reach her feet, use your thumbs to stroke up the arch to her toes and give each toe a gentle squeeze.
Books and videotapes/DVDs on infant massage are available to help you get started. In addition, many hospitals and private organizations offer baby massage classes. A certified infant massage instructor can give you a hands-on demonstration, answer your questions, and show you how to best massage your baby to help you feel confident and comfortable.
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