little kids drinking alcohol

As much as parents may not like to think about it, the truth is that many kids and teens try alcohol during their high school and college years, long before it's legal for them to drink it. Research has shown that nearly 80% of high school kids have tried alcohol.

Although experimentation with alcohol can be common among kids, it's not safe or legal. So it's important to start discussing alcohol use and abuse with your kids at an early age and keep talking about it as they grow up.

The Effects of Alcohol Abuse

Alcohol interferes with a person's perception of reality and ability to make good decisions. This can be particularly hazardous for kids and teens who have less problem-solving and decision-making experience.

Short-term effects of drinking include:

• distorted vision, hearing, and coordination
• altered perceptions and emotions
• impaired judgment, which can lead to accidents, drowning, and other risky behaviors like unsafe sex and drug use
• bad breath
• hangovers

Long-term effects include:

• cirrhosis and cancer of the liver
• loss of appetite
• serious vitamin deficiencies
• stomach ailments
• heart and central nervous system damage
• memory loss
• an increased risk of impotence
• high risk for overdosing

Long before your kids are presented with a chance to drink alcohol, you can increase the chances that they'll just say "no."

Childhood is a time of learning and discovery, so it's important to encourage kids to ask questions, even ones that might be hard to answer. Open, honest, age-appropriate communication now sets the stage for your kids to come to you later with other difficult topics or problems.

Talking to Kids About Alcohol

Preschoolers

Although 3- and 4-year-olds aren't ready to learn the facts about alcohol or other drugs, they start to develop the decision-making and problem-solving skills they will need later on. You can help them develop those skills in some simple ways.

For instance, let toddlers choose their own clothing and don't worry if the choices don't match. This lets them know you think they're capable of making good decisions. Assign simple tasks and let kids know what a big help they are.

And set a good example of the behavior that you want your kids to demonstrate. This is especially true in the preschool years when kids tend to imitate adults' actions as a way of learning. So, by being active, eating healthy, and drinking responsibly, parents teach their kids important lessons early on.

Ages 4 to 7

Kids this age still think and learn mostly by experience and don't have a good understanding of things that will happen in the future. So keep discussions about alcohol in the present tense and relate them to things that kids know and understand. For example, watching TV with your child can provide a chance to talk about advertising messages. Ask about the ads you see and encourage kids to ask questions too.

Kids are interested in how their bodies work, so this is a good time to talk about maintaining good health and avoiding substances that might harm the body. Talk about how alcohol hurts a person's ability to see, hear, and walk without tripping; it alters the way people feel; and it makes it hard to judge things like whether the water is too deep or if there's a car coming too close. And it gives people bad breath and a headache!

Ages 8 to 11

The later elementary school years are a crucial time in which you can influence your child's decisions about alcohol use. Kids at this age tend to love to learn facts, especially strange ones, and are eager to learn how things work and what sources of information are available to them.

So it's a good time to openly discuss facts about alcohol: its long- and short-term effects and consequences, its physical effects, and why it's especially dangerous for growing bodies.

Kids also can be heavily influenced by friends now. Their interests may be determined by what their peers think. So teach your child to say "no" to peer pressure, and discuss the importance of thinking and acting as an individual.

Casual discussions about alcohol and friends can take place at the dinner table as part of your normal conversation: "I've been reading about young kids using alcohol. Do you ever hear about kids using alcohol or other drugs in your school?"

Ages 12 to 17

By the teen years, your kids should know the facts about alcohol and your attitudes and beliefs about substance abuse. So use this time to reinforce what you've already taught them and focus on keeping the lines of communication open.

Teens are more likely to engage in risky behaviors, and their increasing need for independence may make them want to defy their parents' wishes or instructions. But if you make your teen feel accepted and respected as an individual, you increase the chances that your child will try to be open with you.

Kids want to be liked and accepted by their peers, and they need a certain degree of privacy and trust. Avoid excessive preaching and threats, and instead, emphasize your love and concern. Even when they're annoyed by parental interest and questions, teens still recognize that it comes with the territory.

Teaching Kids to Say "No"

Teach kids a variety of approaches to deal with offers of alcohol:

• Encourage them to ask questions. If a drink of any kind is offered, they should ask, "What is it?" and "Where did you get it?"
• Teach them to say "no, thanks" when the drink offered is an alcoholic one.
• Remind them to leave any uncomfortable situation. Make sure they have money for transportation or a phone number where you or another responsible adult can be reached.
• Teach kids never to accept a ride from someone who has been drinking. Some parents find that offering to pick up their kids from an uncomfortable situation — no questions asked — helps encourage kids to be honest and call when they need help.

Risk Factors

Times of transition, such as the onset of puberty or a parents' divorce, can lead kids to alcohol use. So teach your kids that even when life is upsetting or stressful, drinking alcohol as an escape can make a bad situation much worse.

Kids who have problems with self-control or low self-esteem are more likely to abuse alcohol. They may not believe that they can handle their problems and frustrations without using something to make them feel better.

Kids without a sense of connectedness with their families or who feel different in some way (appearance, economic circumstances, etc.) may also be at risk. Those who find it hard to believe in themselves desperately need the love and support of parents or other family members.

In fact, not wanting to harm the relationships between themselves and the adults who care about them is the most common reason that young people give for not using alcohol and other drugs.

General Tips

Fortunately, parents can do much to protect their kids from using and abusing alcohol:

• Be a good role model. Consider how your use of alcohol or medications may influence your kids. Consider offering only nonalcoholic beverages at parties and other social events to show your kids that you don't need to drink to have fun.
• Educate yourself about alcohol so you can be a better teacher. Read and collect information that you can share with kids and other parents.
• Try to be conscious of how you can help build your child's self-esteem. For example, kids are more likely to feel good about themselves if you emphasize their strengths and positively reinforce healthy behaviors.
• Teach kids to manage stress in healthy ways, such as by seeking help from a trusted adult or engaging in a favorite activity.

Recognizing the Signs

Despite your efforts, your child may still use — and abuse — alcohol. How can you tell? Here are some common warning signs:

• the odor of alcohol
• sudden change in mood or attitude
• change in attendance or performance at school
• loss of interest in school, sports, or other activities
• discipline problems at school
• withdrawal from family and friends
• secrecy
• association with a new group of friends and reluctance to introduce them to you
• alcohol disappearing from your home
• depression and developmental difficulties

It's important not to jump to conclusions based on only one or two signs. Adolescence is a time of change — physically, socially, emotionally, and intellectually. This can lead to erratic behavior and mood swings as kids try to cope with all of these changes.

If your child is using alcohol, there will usually be a cluster of these signs, like changes in friends, behavior, dress, attitude, mood, and grades. If you see a number of changes, look for all explanations by talking to your kids, but don't overlook substance abuse as a possibility.

Other tips to try:

• Keep tabs on where your kids go.
• Know the parents of your child's friends.
• Always make sure you have a phone number where you can reach your child.
• Have kids check in regularly when they're away from home.
• When spending an extended length of time away from you, your child should check in periodically with a phone call, e-mail, or visit home.

For teens, especially those old enough to drive, consider negotiating and signing a behavioral contract. This contract should spell out the way you expect your child to behave and state the consequences if your teen drives under the influence. Follow through and take the keys away, if necessary.

Make part of the deal with your teen that you and the rest of your family also agree never to drink and drive. Also encourage responsible behaviors, such as planning for a designated driver or calling an adult for help rather than driving under the influence.

It's important to keep communication open and expectations reasonable. Tying responsible actions to freedoms such as a later curfew or a driver's license can be a powerful motivator. Teach your kids that freedom only comes with responsibility — a lesson that should last a lifetime.

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Facebook Facts

Some 7.5 million of the 20 million American minors who used Facebook in the past year were younger than 13, and a million of them were bullied, harassed or threatened on the site, says a study released Tuesday.

Even more troubling, more than five million Facebook users were 10 years old or younger, and they were allowed to use Facebook largely without parental supervision, leaving them vulnerable to threats ranging from malware to sexual predators, the State of the Net survey by Consumer Reports found.

Facebook's terms of service require users to be at least 13, but many children, or their parents, get around that rule by giving a false birth date when they sign up for the social networking site.
Parents of kids 10 and younger who use Facebook "seem to be largely unconcerned" by their children's use of the site, possibly because they think a young child is less vulnerable to Internet risks, the study says.
But, while a 10-year-old might not download pornography on the Internet, he or she does "need protection from other hazards that might lurk on the Internet, such as links that infect their computer with malware and invitations from strangers, not to mention bullies," the study says.

More than five million U.S. households have been exposed in the past year to "some type of abuse" via Facebook, including virus infections, identity theft and bullying, says the study.
Consumer Reports urged parents to delete their preteens' Facebook accounts -or ask Facebook to do so by using the site's "report an underage child" form -and to monitor teenage kids' accounts by friending them or keeping an eye on their activity via siblings' or friends' Facebook pages.

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The Stress of Parenting

Being a parent can be one of life's most joyful and rewarding experiences, but there are times in everyone's life when the demands and hassles of daily living cause stress. The additional stress of caring for children can, at times, make parents feel angry, anxious, or just plain "stressed out". These tensions are a normal, inevitable part of family life, and parents need to learn ways to cope so that they don't feel overwhelmed by them.

As parents, we have to learn our jobs as we go along. Although we love our children, we soon realize that love isn't all that's needed. We need patience and creativity too, and sometimes, these qualities seem to be in short supply. Learning how to be a parent will probably continue until all your children are grown up. Because each child is unique, what worked with Joe will not necessarily work with Sally, and what worked for Sally probably will not help you cope with George.

Caring for small children is tiring. On bad days, we can feel trapped by the constant responsibility. Caring for older children is less physically draining but more worrisome because they spend much more time outside the home.

If there are young children in the family, there may not be enough time for parents to find time to spend together just enjoying each other's company. Single parents have difficulty finding time and energy to have a social life. Parents with full-time jobs have difficulty finding family play-time. Calendars tend to become over-scheduled. We all need time for ourselves, to concentrate on hobbies or interests, or just to relax.

Have a realistic attitude

Most parents have high expectations of how things should be -we all want a perfect family and we all worry about how our children will turn out. It is important to remember there are no perfect children and no perfect parents. All children misbehave some times. Parents can make mistakes. Wanting the ideal family can get in the way of enjoying the one you have.

You may worry about whether your children will be successful. Remember - they are each individuals. Accept them for who they are. Children who are loved, encouraged and allowed to grow up at their own pace will develop good self-esteem and confidence.

It is helpful to step back and take a long-range point of view. Have confidence that things will turn out well. Children can go through difficult stages. What is stressful today may resolve itself in a short time.

How to recognize the symptoms of stress

Stress becomes a problem when you feel overwhelmed by the things that happen to you. You may feel "stressed out" when it seems there is too much to deal with all at once, and you are not sure how to handle it all.

When you feel stressed, you usually have some physical symptoms. You can feel tired, get headaches, stomach upsets or backaches, clench your jaw or grind your teeth, develop skin rashes, have recurring colds or flu, have muscle spasms or nervous twitches, or have problems sleeping.

Mental signs of stress include feeling pressured, having difficulty concentrating, being forgetful and having trouble making decisions.

Emotional signs include feeling angry, frustrated, tense, anxious, or more aggressive than usual.

How can you cope?

Coping with the stress of parenting starts with understanding what makes you feel stressed, learning to recognize the symptoms of too much stress, and learning some new ways of handling life's problems. You may not always be able to tell exactly what is causing your emotional tension, but it is important to remind yourself that it is not your children's fault.

We all have reactions to life's events which are based on our own personal histories. For the most part, we never completely understand the deep-down causes of all our feelings. What we must realize is that our feelings of stress come from inside ourselves and that we can learn to keep our stress reactions under control. 

Here are some tips which can help:

1. Make time for yourself. Reserve time each week for your own activities.

2. Take care of your health with a good diet and regular exercise. Parents need a lot of energy to look after children.

3. Avoid fatigue. Go to bed earlier and take short naps when you can.

4. Take a break from looking after the children. Help keep stress from building up. Ask for help from friends or relatives to take care of the children for a while. Exchange babysitting services with a neighbour, or hire a teenager, even for a short time once a week to get some time for yourself.

5. Look for community programs for parents and children. They offer activities that are fun, other parents to talk with, and some even have babysitting.

6. Talk to someone. Sharing your worries is a great stress reducer!

7. Look for parenting courses and groups in your community.

8. Learn some ways of unwinding to manage the tension. Simple daily stretching exercises help relieve muscle tension. Vigorous walking, aerobics or sports are excellent ways for some people to unwind and work off tension; others find deep-breathing exercises are a fast, easy and effective way to control physical and mental tension.

9. If you're feeling pressured, tense or drawn out at the end of a busy day, say so. Tell your children calmly that you will be happy to give them some attention soon but first you need a short "quiet time" so that you can relax.

10. Practise time management. Set aside time to spend with the children, time for yourself, and time for your spouse and/or friends. Learn to say "no" to requests that interfere with these important times. 

11. Cut down on outside activities that cause the family to feel rushed.

Develop good relationships

Family relationships are built over time with loving care and concern for other people's feelings. Talk over family problems in a warm, relaxed atmosphere. Focus on solutions rather than finding blame. If you are too busy or upset to listen well at a certain time, say so. Then agree on a better time, and make sure to do it. Laugh together, be appreciative of each other, and give compliments often. It may be very hard to schedule time to spend with your family, doing things that you all enjoy, but it is the best time you will ever invest.

Parents and children need time to spend one-to-one. Whether yours is a one or two-parent family, each parent should try to find a little time to spend alone with each child. You could read a bedtime story, play a game, or go for a walk together.

Do you need more help?

If you are considering getting some additional support or information to help you cope with the stress of parenting, there are many different resources available, including books and video tapes on stress management, parenting courses and workshops, professional counselling and self-help groups. Contact a community organization, such as the Canadian Mental Health Association, for more information about services in your community.

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Caring For A Baby With Down Syndrome

Down Syndrome: Caring for a Baby Who Has Down Syndrome

What is Down syndrome?

Down syndrome is a genetic disorder that causes mental retardation and physical defects. It is caused by the presence of an extra copy of chromosome number 21. This condition is called trisomy 21.

How is Down syndrome diagnosed?

Before birth, tests (such as amniocentesis and chorionic villus sampling) can check the tissue and fluid in the womb for the extra chromosome. After birth, if the baby has any of the physical signs or birth defects of Down syndrome, your doctor can test the baby's blood for the extra chromosome.

What are the physical signs and birth defects of Down syndrome?

Some of the most common physical signs of Down syndrome are upward slanting eyes, flattened facial features, ears that are small or unusually shaped, broad hands with short fingers and curved "pinky" fingers and a small head. None of these physical differences cause health problems.

Some birth defects associated with Down syndrome cause more serious health problems. Babies who have Down syndrome often have poor muscle tone or problems with their heart, intestines or eyes. Intelligence ranges from low normal to very retarded (slow to learn), which can make learning and development more difficult.

How will I take care of my baby who has Down syndrome?

Just like any other newborn, you will need to feed, dress, diaper, cuddle, hold, talk to, play with and love your baby. Your baby also may have some health problems that require extra care.

What are the health problems that might affect my baby?

Some babies who have Down syndrome have poor muscle tone. This makes it harder for them to learn to roll over, sit up and walk. Physical therapy can help with these problems.

About half of babies who have Down syndrome also have a heart problem. An ultrasound exam of your baby's heart will show any defects. Surgery may be necessary to fix the heart problems associated with Down syndrome.

Some babies who have Down syndrome have problems swallowing, or they may have blockages in their intestines. Surgery may be necessary to fix these problems. Once they are fixed, they usually cause no further harm.

Some babies have eye problems, such as cataracts (cloudy lenses) or crossed eyes. Corrective lenses or surgery may be necessary to fix these problems.

Children who have Down syndrome may have colds, ear infections and sinus infections more often than other children. They are more likely to have thyroid problems, hearing loss, seizures and problems in their bones and joints. It's also common for these children to be late in teething.

Will my child be able to do the same things as other children?

In many important ways, children who have Down syndrome are very much the same as other children. They have the same moods and emotions, and they like to learn new things, play and enjoy life. You can help your child by providing as many chances as possible for him or her to do these things. Read to your child and play with him or her, just as you would any other child. Help your child to have positive experiences with new people and places.

Early intervention programs can help children who have Down syndrome develop motor, language and social skills that will give them the best chance of success.

Will my child have learning problems?

At birth, it isn't possible to tell how smart a baby who has Down syndrome will be. Intelligence ranges from low normal to very retarded (slow to learn) in people who have Down syndrome. If you keep your child physically healthy and provide therapy or treatment for his or her impairments, he or she will be better able to learn. With therapy, many children who have Down syndrome grow up to have jobs and live independently.

What other special care will my baby need?

You may need to give your baby medicine. Your doctor will probably want to check your baby often to be sure that he or she is growing well and isn't developing problems from birth defects.

Your baby may need to have physical therapy every week to help with building up muscle tone and coordination. Later on, speech therapy and occupational therapy (to help with issues such as language skills, hand-eye coordination and social skills) may be helpful for your child.

Can I breastfeed my baby?

Breastfeeding is good for all babies, including babies who have Down syndrome. Your baby may be a little slow in learning how to breastfeed, but it is possible.

When your baby is learning to breastfeed, you may find it helpful to talk with your doctor, a nurse or a therapist who has had special training. Other mothers who have breastfed babies who had Down syndrome can also give you helpful advice. Your doctor can help you find other mothers to talk to.

If I've had one baby with Down syndrome, am I at greater risk of having another?

In most cases, for every 100 couples who have another baby, 1 will have another baby with Down syndrome. If you're planning on having more children, talk with your doctor. He or she can help you decide whether to seek genetic counseling.

Since I learned my baby has Down syndrome, I've been confused and upset. What can I do?

You may feel disappointment, grief, anger, frustration, fear and anxiety about the future. These feelings are all normal. Talking to other parents of children who have Down syndrome can be helpful, because they know how you are feeling. You can also talk to your family doctor or visit a support group where you can share your feelings and get additional information. Several support groups, organizations and community resources exist to help children who have Down syndrome and their parents, siblings and other family members.

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