Single Parenting

Being a Single Parent

Before having children, most people may picture a family with two parents. However, for many people, the reality is that they are the only parent. Although raising a child as a single parent can be challenging, it can also be rewarding. The following are some tips to help you deal with the challenges of being a single parent and create a positive environment for your child.

Finding Help

You may be a single parent, but you are probably not alone. If you have family members or friends who are willing to help, let them. If you don't have family members or friends who can help you, look for a support group for single parents. You'll meet other people who are in similar situations. Participating in a support group gives you a chance to share your feelings and get advice.

 

Balancing a Busy Life

The life of a single parent can be very busy. In addition to parenting and taking care of your home, you may be working and/or going to school. It’s important to find a way to balance all of the parts of your life. The following are some tips:

• Accept help. If friends and family offer their help, take it! This can mean having someone play with your child while you run errands or having someone to call when you need to talk.
• Take advantage of local resources. Many communities offer play groups, after-school activities and parenting classes. These can give you and your child a chance to have fun, learn and make new friends.
• If you don’t get enough time with your child, look for creative solutions. For example, find out if your job lets you work flexible hours.
• Don’t forget to have fun. Take a break from your busy routine to plan something special for you and your child. For example, take a trip to the zoo or go out for ice cream together.
• Make time for yourself. You need to relax once in a while too! This can be as simple as taking 15 minutes to look at a magazine after your child goes to bed.

Providing Role Models

Children benefit from good role models (adults who set an example of how to behave) of both sexes. Look for family members or friends of the opposite sex to be role models for your child. Invite a positive and responsible family member or friend to spend time with your child. If you don't have a family member or friend available, groups like Big Brothers Big Sisters can help. Check your phone book or look online for programs in your area.

 

When You're Overwhelmed

Parenting is hard work. All parents have times when they get angry or frustrated. But don't take out your feelings on your child. If you are worried that you might hurt your child, get help right away. Call the Childhelp USA 24-hour hotline at 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453).

 

 

 

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Living With a Single Parent

If you live with one parent, you know that a lot of other kids do, too. More than 20 million kids in the United States live with one parent. Separation and divorce are the most common reasons for this. In other cases, the mom and dad may never have lived together, or one of them may have died.

Living with one parent instead of two can bring out a lot of emotions. These feelings can be pretty strong, and they can be confusing, too. You might feel terribly sad and angry because your parents divorced.

You also might feel happy that your parents split up and aren't fighting anymore, but you may also feel upset when your mom introduces you to a man that she is dating. You might love the uncle or grandma who takes care of you, but sometimes you might wish you could have one family with both a mom and a dad.

Emotions all by themselves aren't either good or bad. They're just feelings. Because living with one parent can sometimes be stressful, it can help to talk about it. You can talk with your parent, a relative, school counselor, or another trusted adult. Talking with other kids who live with single parents can be a great idea, too.

Single Parents and Work

Single parents are often working parents because someone needs to earn money to pay for food, clothing, and a place to live. Having a job means your mom or dad is able to provide these things and more for you. People work for other reasons, too. A job can let a person use his or her special talents and skills. A job can be important because it helps people in the community. Or a job can simply be exciting or interesting.

But even though you might understand why your mom or dad has to work, sometimes it can be hard to accept. "Not now, I have to work" isn't what you want to hear when you'd like to do something fun. This can be especially true during the summer or school vacations. You're home, they're gone, and the days can seem really long.

Many kids simply take care of themselves for all or part of the time that a parent is at work. This can be all right, but only if you're prepared to handle the responsibility. You need to know what to do in case of an emergency, as well as how to use your time wisely. And if you're by yourself, you should know how to handle loneliness, too.

Other choices include going to an after-school program or staying with a neighbor or relative. During the summer, many schools and towns offer summer programs and camps.

Time Troubles

It can be tough when you don't have enough time with your dad or mom. When you live with one parent, that person really has to do the work of two people. Besides a job, your mom or dad is responsible for caring for the kids, the house, the yard, the car, the pets — everything that grown-ups do! And besides all that, your dad or mom would like to be able to spend more time just hanging out with you, too. So what can you do?

One of the best ways is to hold a family meeting. Talk about everyone's schedule for work, school, and activities. You can also talk about what jobs around the house need to be done every day, which ones can be done less often, and who could do each job.

When you take a look at chores and other time demands, you can try to work some family time into the schedule. Maybe you can eat more meals together. You might want to help your parent cook dinner sometimes. That can be both fun and helpful to your parent. Maybe you also can schedule a weekly game or movie night.

Time may be tight, but kids in single-parent families can make a difference by helping out around the house. They also can make another important contribution: reminding their moms or dads to have a little fun!

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