13-18 month milestones

13-18 month milestones

Child's Age	Mastered Skills (most kids can do)	Emerging Skills (half of kids can do)	Advanced Skills (a few kids can do)
13 months	Uses two words skillfully (e.g., "hi" and "bye") Bends over and picks up an object	Enjoys gazing at his reflection Holds out arm or leg to help you dress him	Combines words and gestures to make needs known Rolls a ball back and forth
14 months	Eats with fingers Empties containers of contents Imitates others	Toddles well Initiates games Points to one body part when asked Responds to instructions (e.g., "give me a kiss")	Uses a spoon or fork Matches lids with appropriate containers Pushes and pulls toys while walking
15 months	Plays with ball Uses three words regularly Walks backward	Scribbles with a crayon Runs Adopts "no" as his favorite word	"Helps" around the house Puts his fingers to his mouth and says "shhh"
16 months	Turns the pages of a book Has temper tantrums when frustrated Becomes attached to a soft toy or other object	Discovers the joy of climbing Stacks three blocks Uses spoon or fork Learns the correct way to use common objects (e.g., the telephone)	Takes off one piece of clothing by himself Gets finicky about food Switches from two naps to one
17 months	Uses six words regularly Enjoys pretend games Likes riding toys	Feeds doll Speaks more clearly Throws a ball underhand	Dances to music Sorts toys by color, shape, or size Kicks ball forward
18 months	Will "read" board books on his own Scribbles well	Strings two words together in phrases Brushes teeth with help Stacks four blocks	Throws a ball overhand Takes toys apart and puts them back together Shows signs of toilet training readiness

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1-6 Month Milestones

1-6 Month Milestones

Child's Age	Mastered Skills (most kids can do)	Emerging Skills (half of kids can do)	Advanced Skills (a few kids can do)
1 month	Lifts head when lying on tummy Responds to sound Stares at faces	Follows objects briefly with eyes Vocalizes: oohs and aahs Can see black-and-white patterns	Smiles, laughs Holds head at 45-degree angle
2 months	Vocalizes: gurgles and coos Follows objects across field of vision Notices his hands Holds head up for short periods	Smiles, laughs Holds head at 45-degree angle Makes smoother movements	Holds head steady Can bear weight on legs Lifts head and shoulders when lying on tummy (mini-pushup)
3 months	Recognizes your face and scent Holds head steady Visually tracks moving objects	Squeals, gurgles, coos Blows bubbles Recognizes your voice Does mini-pushup	Rolls over, from tummy to back Turns toward loud sounds Can bring hands together, bats at toys
4 months	Smiles, laughs Can bear weight on legs Coos when you talk to him	Can grasp a toy Rolls over, from tummy to back	Imitates sounds: "baba," "dada" Cuts first tooth May be ready for solid foods
5 months	Distinguishes between bold colors Plays with his hands and feet	Recognizes own name Turns toward new sounds Rolls over in both directions	Sits momentarily without support Mouths objects Separation anxiety may begin
6 months	Turns toward sounds and voices Imitates sounds Rolls over in both directions	Is ready for solid foods Sits without support Mouths objects Passes objects from hand to hand	Lunges forward or starts crawling Jabbers or combines syllables Drags objects toward himself

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7-12 month milestones



7-12 month milestones



Child's Age	Mastered Skills (most kids can do)	Emerging Skills (half of kids can do)	Advanced Skills (a few kids can do)
7 months	Sits without support Drags objects toward herself	Lunges forward or starts crawling Jabbers or combines syllables Starts to experience stranger anxiety	Waves goodbye Stands while holding onto something Bangs objects together Begins to understand object permanence
8 months	Says "mama" and "dada" to both parents (isn't specific) Passes objects from hand to hand	Stands while holding onto something Crawls Points at objects Searches for hidden objects	Pulls self to standing, cruises Picks things up with thumb-finger pincer grasp Indicates wants with gestures
9 months	Stands while holding onto something Jabbers or combines syllables Understands object permanence	Cruises while holding onto furniture Drinks from a sippy cup Eats with fingers Bangs objects together	Plays patty-cake and peek-a-boo Says "mama" and "dada" to the correct parent
10 months	Waves goodbye Picks things up with pincer grasp Crawls well, with belly off the ground	Says "mama" and "dada" to the correct parent Indicates wants with gestures	Stands alone for a couple of seconds Puts objects into a container
11 months	Says "mama" and "dada" to the correct parent Plays patty-cake and peek-a-boo Stands alone for a couple of seconds Cruises	Understands "no" and simple instructions Puts objects into a container	Says one word besides "mama" and "dada" Stoops from standing position
12 months	Imitates others' activities Indicates wants with gestures	Takes a few steps Says one word besides "mama" and "dada"	Walks alone Scribbles with a crayon Says two words besides "mama" and "dada"

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19-24 month milestones



19-24 month milestones



Child's Age	Mastered Skills (most kids can do)	Emerging Skills (half of kids can do)	Advanced Skills (a few kids can do)
19 months	Uses a spoon and fork Runs Throws a ball underhand Enjoys helping around the house	Understands as many as 200 words Recognizes when something is wrong (e.g., calling a dog a cat)	Washes and dries own hands with help Points to picture or object when you call it by name May know when she needs to pee
20 months	Feeds doll Takes off own clothes Dumps an object in imitation, such as throwing garbage away	Learns words at a rate of ten or more a day Can walk up stairs (but probably not down)	May start exploring genitals Draws a straight line Names several body parts
21 months	Can walk up stairs Able to set simple goals (e.g., deciding to put a toy in a certain place)	Throws a ball overhand Kicks ball forward Stacks six blocks	Names simple picture in a book Can walk down stairs
22 months	Kicks ball forward Follows two-step requests (e.g., "Get your doll and bring it here")	Does simple puzzles Draws a straight line Names several body parts	Puts on loose-fitting clothes Might be ready for a big bed Understands opposites (e.g., tall vs. short)
23 months	Names simple picture in a book Uses 50 to 70 words	Opens doors Sings simple tunes Takes more of an interest in playing with other kids	Talks about self (likes, dislikes) Asks "why?"
24 months	Names at least six body parts Half of speech is understandable Makes two- to three-word sentences	Talks about self Arranges things in categories Can walk down stairs	Begins to understand abstract concepts (e.g., sooner and later) Becomes attuned to gender differences Learns to jump

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25-30 month milestones



25-30 month milestones



Child's Age	Mastered Skills (most kids can do)	Emerging Skills (half of kids can do)	Advanced Skills (a few kids can do)
25 and 26 months	Stacks six blocks Walks with smooth heel-to-toe motion	Uses pronouns (e.g., I, me, you) Washes and dries own hands	Speaks clearly most of the time Draws a vertical line
27 and 28 months	Jumps with both feet Opens doors	Understands descriptions (e.g., big, soft) Draws a vertical line	Starts to recognize ABCs Balances on one foot
29 and 30 months	Brushes teeth with help Washes and dries own hands Draws a vertical line	Draws a circle Balances on one foot	Puts on a T-shirt Names one color Names one friend

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Never Shake Your Baby!!!

Never Shake Your Baby

Shaken Baby Syndrome

Approximately 1,200 to 1,400 children suffer severe or fatal head trauma from violent shaking in the U.S. every year, and most experts believe that this form of child abuse is still under-reported. Shaken Baby Syndrome, or SBS, is the most common cause of child mortality and accounts for most long-term disability in infants and young children due to physical abuse. One third of all victims of SBS die, and another third are left with permanent injuries.

Shaken baby syndrome is the term used to describe the group of injuries that results when a baby or small child is violently shaken, dropped or thrown, or from the impact of the child's head against a hard surface. When a baby is shaken the brain rotates within the skull cavity injuring or destroying brain tissue and tearing blood vessels that feed the brain, causing bleeding around the brain and additional damage. Violent shaking can also result in retinal (back of the eye) bleeding, which can cause blindness.

The injuries exhibited by shaken babies and children cannot be caused by short falls, seizures, or as a result of vaccinations. The force of a child shaken in anger is 10 times greater than the force of a simple fall. The amount of brain damage suffered by a shaken child depends on the intensity and duration of the shaking and the degree of force with which the head strikes a hard surface. The symptoms of shaken baby syndrome vary from minor, such as irritability, lethargy, tremors, and vomiting; to major neurological changes, such as seizures, coma, stupor, and even death. In severe cases of SBS, the child immediately loses consciousness and suffers rapid, life-threatening failure of the central nervous system. A shaken child may also have bruises on the body (usually the arms or shoulders) where he or she was grabbed, and have fractured ribs or long bones. In many cases, however, there is no evidence of trauma to either the head or the body.

Because there are often no visible signs of abuse, head injuries in babies and toddlers are often difficult to diagnose and may be mistaken for a variety of other conditions or illnesses. Vomiting, fever, irritability, and lethargy are all symptoms of other diseases that commonly strike children, so if the attending physician fails to take an accurate history of injury and the child is too young to speak, the abusive head trauma may be misdiagnosed and critical treatment delayed. Many children who survive SBS suffer permanent handicaps ranging from mild learning and behavioral disorders to profound mental and developmental retardation, paralysis, blindness, or they remain in a permanent vegetative state. If you suspect a child has been shaken, seek medical attention immediately and let the doctor know your suspicions. Without this knowledge, the doctor may waste precious time looking for other symptoms of illness.

Approximately 60 percent of shaking victims are boys. Males are also overwhelmingly the perpetrators of SBS - approximately 65 to 90 percent are men, often in their early 20s, and many times the baby's father or mother's boyfriend. Infants born to families who live at or below the poverty level are also more likely to fall victim to SBS (as well as any form of child abuse).

• 50% of shakers are natural parents
• 17% are non-relatives
• 17% are the mother's boyfriend
• 6% are a step-parent
• 10% other

It is estimated that 25 to 50 percent of parents and caretakers are not aware of the harmful effects of shaking a baby. Many babies are shaken out of frustration when the caregiver cannot get the infant to stop crying. Crying peaks in babies between 6 weeks and 4 months old, which coincides with the age when most babies are shaken. Ironically, the abusive shaking behavior may be self-reinforcing since an infant who is shaken may cease to cry because of the resulting brain injury. The adult may then conclude that shaking is an effective and appropriate way to quiet a cranky baby, and repeat the abuse when the baby begins fussing or crying again. The adult may think the quiet, drowsy baby is displaying the desired behavior, but he or she may actually be displaying symptoms of irreversible brain damage.

Shaken baby syndrome is completely preventable. Parents and caregivers need to be aware of the dangers of shaking and learn ways to reduce stress. If you cannot get your baby to stop crying and feel as if you might hurt your baby, remove yourself from the situation. Call a friend or relative to watch your baby for a few minutes while you calm down. If you cannot call anyone, put your baby in a safe place, such as his or her crib, and go into another room or outside until you are composed. Remember that it is okay to ask for help when you need it, but it is never okay to shake a baby.

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Separation Anxiety

Separation Anxiety

Separation anxiety and stranger anxiety occur when your child develops the mental ability to remember objects and people when they are no longer present, a skill called object permanence. Once your child has this skill he or she will probably search for his favorite toy when it has been put away or drops out of sight and cry whenever you are not in sight, because his memory is still incomplete and he has no sense of time, he believes that once you leave, you are gone forever. Stranger anxiety tends to develop in association with separation anxiety as the child gets better at telling the difference between familiar and unfamiliar faces and becomes more fearful of faces he doesn't know.

Most children exhibit some degree of separation anxiety around 6 to 8 months of age that lasts for 2 to 4 months; however, the age of the child and duration of the anxiety may vary greatly. Many children go through a second phase of separation anxiety around 18 months of age that eases as communication skills improve, and some children develop severe separation anxiety at night even when mom and dad are in the next room. A child's temperament plays a big role in the degree and duration of separation anxiety, so a child who adapts to new changes easily will probably have less anxiety than a child who has a difficult time with change.

Symptoms of normal separation anxiety include increasing unease and crying when separated from you or when you show signs of leaving. He or she may also exhibit whining, clinginess or insistence on physical contact with you, shyness, unusual silence, and an unwillingness to interact with others, even if they are familiar.

What to Do?

The root cause of separation anxiety is your child's inability to understand that you will return at some point after you leave, so teaching your child this concept will help him get over separation anxiety more quickly. Games such as peek-a-boo and "where's the baby?" are helpful in demonstrating this idea. To play "where's the baby," cover your baby's head with a small blanket or towel and ask "where's the baby?" and then pull the cloth off your baby's head and say "There you are!" You can also put the blanket over your head and let him pull it off you. You can also play a simplified version of hide-and-seek by partially hiding yourself behind a piece of furniture and then calling to your baby to come find you.

You can also practice trial separations with your baby. Tell him that you will be going into another room and that you'll be back soon. Repeat the assurances as you leave and talk to him from the other room to demonstrate that you still exist, even though he cannot see you. After a few moments, come back in the room. Gradually increase the length of these practice separations and he will eventually learn that it's okay if you are gone for a little while and that you'll always return.

When you do leave your baby, don't sneak away when he isn't looking; this will frighten and confuse him and will only exacerbate his feeling of abandonment. Instead, make your good-byes short and sweet when you leave. Tell your baby you love him, give him a kiss, say good-bye and tell him that you'll be back soon and then leave. Resist the temptation to return if he begins crying - this will only make it more difficult and develop bad habits. Also try to fight back any tears of your own if your baby gets upset, as hard as it may be to leave him. If she sees or senses that you are agonizing over the separation, it will only enhance his fear and insecurity. Try giving your baby favorite objects to comfort him while you're away, especially something that smells like you, such as your pajamas or a soft sweater you recently wore.

Separation anxiety is worse when your child is tired, hungry or sick, so try to avoid leaving if she's ill, and feed her before you go, and make sure she gets her nap that day. This is also not the time to try out a new babysitter, so if possible, choose a caregiver that your child knows well. However, if you do have to use an unfamiliar sitter, have him or her spend extra time getting to know your baby before you leave and make sure your child is comfortable with the individual before you say good-bye.

Separation Anxiety Disorder

If your child exhibits severe separation anxiety that he or she does not grow out of, he may have separation anxiety disorder, or SAD. SAD may occur because the child failed to form a secure attachment to a caregiver or because of repeated disruptions or prolonged separations (such as in cases of parental hospitalization, custody disputes, etc.). A history of anxiety disorder in one or more parent is also a possible cause of SAD. Some signs of SAD include:

• Recurrent, excessive distress when separated
• Excessive worry about harm occurring to the parent(s) or caregiver(s)
• Reluctance to go anywhere without the parent(s) or caregiver(s)
• Reluctance to be alone
• Reluctance to sleep away from parent(s) or caregiver(s)
• Repeated nightmares with the theme of separation
• Vague complaints of physical symptoms like stomachaches or headaches that occur in anticipation of a separation from the parent(s) or caregiver(s).
• Many children exhibit some or all of these symptoms without suffering from SAD; however, if your child displays these symptoms for at least 4 weeks and his daily life is impaired (he is unable to attend school or be left with a sitter), he or she should be taken to a child psychologist for evaluation and treatment.

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Potty Training ABC's

ABC of potty training

Potty Training

• A -- Assess your child's readiness
  
• B -- Buy the right equipment
  
• C -- Create a routine
  
• D -- Ditch the diaper
  
• E -- Explain the process
  
• F -- Foster independence
  
• G -- Grab some training pants
  
• H -- Handle setbacks gracefully
  
• I -- Introduce night training
  
• J -- Jump for joy -- you're done!
  

Most parents eagerly anticipate potty training as a milestone in their child's development -- if for no other reason than that it means an end to changing diapers. But few moms and dads are prepared for how long it can take. Yes, some children get it within a few days. But many more take several months. You and your child have a better chance of success if you know the basics of training and can make the process clear to your child.

A -- Assess your child's readiness

Most people begin training when their child is about two, but some kids may not be ready until well into their fourth year. Watch for the right signs, such as imitating others' bathroom habits, and don't pressure your child to start before he's ready. It's worth running through a basic checklist to see if he is ready.

B -- Buy the right equipment

First and foremost, this means investing in a child-sized potty or a special seat to attach to your regular toilet. Whichever you choose, make sure your child can stabilize himself with his feet so he can push when he's having a bowel movement. You may also want to pick up an explanatory picture book or video for your child to help him get interested in training.

C -- Create a routine

Sit your child fully clothed on the potty seat once a day -- after breakfast, before his bath, or whenever else he's likely to have a bowel movement . This allows him to get used to the potty and accept it as part of his routine. If he doesn't want to sit on it, that's okay. Never restrain him or physically force him to sit there. And especially don't push the issue if he seems scared.

In both cases, it's better to put the potty away, or at least aside, for a few weeks or a month and then try again. If he's willing to sit there, fine. But at this stage, don't even try to explain why he should use it; you just want him to get used to the thing. Make sure it's always in a convenient place -- since it's portable, your child's potty can be used in the garden or the playroom.

D -- Ditch the diaper

Sit your child on the potty seat without a diaper. Again, let him get used to what it feels like to sit there this way. At this point you can start explaining that this is what Mommy and Daddy (and any older siblings) do every day. That is, undressing before you sit down to go to the bathroom is the grownup thing to do.

If he gets the idea and produces something, that's fine. But don't push him to perform. Again, wait until he's ready and demonstrates a clear interest in using the toilet on his own.

E -- Explain the process

It may help to show your child where his bowel movements go. The next time he goes in his diaper, take him to his potty, sit him down, and empty the diaper beneath him into the bowl. This will help him make the connection between sitting and producing. After you've emptied his potty into the big toilet, let him flush it if he wants to (but don't make him do it if he's scared) so he can see where it goes. Teach him to dress himself and wash his hands when he's done.

F -- Foster independence

Encourage your child to use his potty whenever he feels the urge to go. But make sure he knows that he can tell you, too, and that you'll take him to the bathroom whenever he wants you to. If you can, let him run around sometimes without a diaper (or any clothing below the waist), with the potty nearby. Tell him he can use it whenever he wants to and remind him occasionally that it's there if he needs it.

G -- Grab some training pants

You may like to try using training pants. Some children like them and they help, others just think of them as a slightly different type of diaper and they defeat the object of the exercise. Some children are encouraged by having real underwear instead.

H -- Handle setbacks gracefully

Virtually every child will have several accidents before being completely trained during the day and at night. Don't get angry or punish your child; after all, it's only recently that his muscles have developed sufficiently to allow him to hold his bladder and rectum closed at all. Mastering the process will take time. When he has an accident, calmly clean it up and suggest that next time he try using his potty instead.

I -- Introduce night training

Even when your child is consistently clean and dry all day, it may take him several more months or years to master night training, so don't throw away his diapers just yet. At this age, his body is still too immature to reliably wake him up in the middle of the night just to go to the bathroom. You can help cut down on wet nights by not letting him drink too much before bedtime and telling him that if he does wake up in the middle of the night he can call to you to help him get to the potty. You can also try leaving his potty near the bed in case he wants to use it.

J -- Jump for joy -- you're done!

Believe it or not, when your child is ready to learn this new grown-up skill, he will. And if you wait until he's really ready to start, the process shouldn't be too painful for either of you. He will eventually be trained, and you won't have to think about it again -- at least, not until the next baby...

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The Terrible Two's

Discipline strategies to help you through the years

Whether you are a new or seasoned mom, discipline is an issue that we all face not just once but throughout every stage of our kids lives. As our daughter is gaining independence and discovering more about herself and the world around her, my husband and I are seeing the increasing need to become very consistent in our discipline strategies.  We had a discussion about it last night and I committed to him that I would make some notes to serve as a reminder to us.  I thought that some of our strategies might be helpful to The Cool Mom Blog readers.

1. Even mommies and daddies can use a time-out once in a while.  Whether it's in the form of sitting in the corner, sending a child to their room or grounding, every child (even parents once in a while) could use some time to think about their actions when boundaries have been crossed.  For us, our daughter is not old enough to reflect on her actions so the act of giving her a time-out really just serves to remove her current situation for a short time (1 or 2 minutes) and then explain what she did wrong.
2. Set boundaries and allow your child to have independence within them.   Not many people like to constantly be told 'No'.  Children are on a continuous journey of discovery and encouraging this is part of our job as parents.  We also need to keep them safe so setting some clear boundaries is important.  Kids should know what the boundaries are and be allowed to explore within them.  For a teenager, this may come in the form of setting a curfew or the amount of time spent on the phone or on the computer.  In our situation, Ella is not old enough to understand those boundaries so they have to be physical.  Instead of always saying no when she heads towards the stairs or somewhere that is off limits, we can put up gates or move furniture so she can get to it. 
3. Offer creative alternatives. Along the same vein of creating a positive environment where 'no' is not always used, we can help our kids learn, grow and discover by offering creative alternatives when their original intention is not a great one.  This could be suggesting another activity, asking for them to help you with a chore or doing an activity with you.
4. Crying will only get you a hug.  Nip melt downs and temper tantrums in the bud by ignoring them.  I like the line I heard one parent say to their child 'Let me know when you are ready to talk'.  Kids have to know that they can't gain control over parents or the situation with negative behaviour.
   

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